No...He didn't just say that- I must be losing it.

"What are you talking about man, what's going on?" I squealed. But I knew exactly what was going on.

This explains what Sandy was happy about the day before when I left her house; when I kept nodding. She must've asked me to be her boyfriend and she must've taken my nods as a "yes".

"Dude, it's alright man, I think you guys make a better couple. You don't have to hide it, I'm cool with It." explained Case.

"No man, you don't understand, I...-"

"HEY! There you are!" Sandy had found me. I was beginning to panic. I never thought I'd find myself in a situation like this: I don't like her, but she thinks I do. Explaining this and breaking up with her, under normal circumstances, would be no problem- but she takes pills for a suicidal depression problem (or some shit). Also, she sort of is a friend now. So my instincts, naturally, were to not hurt the bitch. So what can I do?

After much contemplation, I decided I'll wait it out; if she left Case after three days, it shouldn't take long for her to leave me. So I ended up walking her to class. She made me hold her hand and shit loads of people saw us. According to about five people I talked to later that day, I've "never looked more miserable in my life". I've never felt more miserable either. At the end of that school day, about twenty strangers that I've never met before in my life knew who I was- including Elise. Sandy was more popular than I thought; just being with her made me almost immediately popular...but I wasn't about to stay with her just so I can meet new people.

A few days passed and Sandy still hadn’t left me, which left me feeling pretty confused. I've been avoiding her as much as possible, not returning her phone calls, making it obvious that I didn't want to kiss her in public. You'd think she'd understand that I wasn't interested. It was finally Friday and she still hasn't even given me the slightest hint that the relationship would be ending. But I knew that I had to end it today because Cheryl would be back tomorrow. I don't want to ruin any chance I had of being with Cheryl. I was walking her home after school when she stopped for some reason. She gave me a hug and started crying and said, "I didn't want to tell you this because I think it's too early and you won’t believe me...but I love you."

The first words that came to mind were, "Give me a mother fucking break." But as I was hugging her, I noticed there was something in her jacket's pocket. I pulled it out and she didn't seem to notice; she just continued sobbing. It was a prescription bottle of pills. Great. I wanted to laugh at that point. A lot of things were jumping into mind that made me want to laugh: The idea of Sandy really loving me; the idea of any girl loving me; even the idea of love at such a young age; the fact that someone that I never really cared that much for makes me think so much; how lame it is that she's crying right now. I even let out a couple of chuckles but she didn't seem to notice because her sobbing was quickly turning into a violent cough.

I quickly put the bottle of pills back into her jacket pocket just as she let go of me. Her coughs were getting more and more violent by the second. Within moments, I could tell that these weren't ordinary coughs and soon enough, she started spitting out blood. What the fuck was happening? I took her arm around my neck and helped her move down the street. I was planning on taking her home to her parents until I saw a parked ambulance in a nearby driveway with some medics and cops standing outside. I don't think I've ever felt that lucky in my life. They spotted us and within minutes they were driving her away to the hospital. I didn't get to go with them because of some bullshit legal reason or something, don't really remember. So I just walked back home. It all happened so fast that all I could think about was how lucky I am that I didn't really get the chance to return the words "I love you" back to her. The truth is, I've never told any girl that till this day. Come to think of it, I've never even told my mom that I love her.

When I got back home, Cheryl called and we planned out our day tomorrow. I'd meet her in Hollywood at the Dome (I think it was the Dome, I don't remember) and we'd watch the band, Flogging Molly. I felt a little guilty; here I am practically planning out a date with another girl while my girlfriend was in the hospital, coughing up blood. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about Sandy, but she hadn't called me so I assumed she was still at the hospital because she usually calls me every other minute.

Later that evening, around 7 o’clock-ish, Sandy knocked on my door. I was surprised to see her; she hadn’t called or anything. She seemed perfectly fine too; she didn't look sick or anything. She was, however, on the verge of tears.

"I just got into a fight with my mom, so I left the house." she said in a pathetic, whimpering voice.

"What happened at the hospital? Why were you coughing up blood?" I asked, ignoring the apparent fact that she just ran away from her house. She shrugged and went on to say, "Oh it's nothing. That happens to me all the time, I think it's because of the smoking."

"Yeah. I told her to stop smoking but she just doesn't listen." Will's voice merged from behind Sandy. I looked behind her and sure enough, Will was standing there. Confusion was once again lurking in my head. Why was Sandy hanging out with Will? Will always acts like he dislikes her. It was odd. But what was odder, was the realization that Sandy didn't bother to call me once today. But what was even odder than that was the feeling I was experiencing at that moment. What is this feeling? Am I jealous of Will and Sandy?

"Hey man, what are you doing here? I didn't know you two got along." I said, trying to sound casual, as if I didn't really care.

"Nah, she drags me around everywhere...I just follow...got nothing better to do." said Will in a voice that was easier going than mine. That bastard, he's trying to sound even more casual than me, I thought. Oh man, what's wrong with me? Spiting Will because he's hanging out with my so-called girlfriend is one thing...but getting mad because his voice sounds mellower than mine was taking it too far.

Sandy looked sort of nervous as she stared at me sideways and said in an almost whispering voice, "Just friends".

It's okay, I thought. Who cares, this is nothing. Sandy doesn't even matter. If she wants to hangout with her guy-friends while avoiding me all day, it's her choice. I have no control over that and I don't care...ah who am I kidding- I was furious. More mad at Will than Sandy. I didn't really like Sandy but the idea of Will hanging out with my girl alone (and me not getting a phone call from her) ticked me off. It's the principle. Will was a mellow guy; I knew that no matter what I said to him about this issue, it wouldn't affect him. So naturally, I decided to direct my anger towards Sandy. I'll just use this as my excuse to leave her. It's perfect.

"So you wanna go somewhere? I don't wanna go back home." asked Sandy in a voice that sounded opposite of the voice she had when she first got here: upbeat; happy; annoying.

"No, I'm just gonna go back inside. You and Will enjoy yourselves." I said.

"Alright, cool, later man." Will grabbed Sandy's hand and began dragging her off of my porch. I could hear her whispering to Will, "Wait, let me talk to him he sounds mad". It looked like she was struggling to get him to let go and she dropped a couple of things from her jacket pockets as she struggled. I spotted a bottle of pills, some crumpled papers, and a couple of pens landing all over the steps of my porch. After about 30 seconds worth of resistance from Sandy, Will let go of her and continued walking. Sandy kneeled down to pick up her stuff and began staring at Will. As she got back up, she then stared at me and gave out a large sigh and then ran after Will and was out of sight within seconds.

I noticed that Sandy had left a white crumpled piece of paper behind. She must not have seen it when she was picking up everything else that she dropped. I picked up the paper and opened it up. There was a small baggie of crystal meth that was wrapped inside it. The baggie was almost empty so I assumed that Sandy must've finished it. I had never voluntarily tried meth before and in my current state of angriness and depression, I figured why not? I went inside and placed the powder on the table. I sat in front of it and stared at it for what felt like two hours before I grew enough courage to take it. I sniffed about three short lines before it was all done and found myself feeling extremely focused...on nothing in particular. It was an odd feeling because unlike weed and alcohol, I was aware of the drug's effect. I felt very...excited, to say the least. About three hours passed and I still felt the exact same. I was getting scared now (at the time, I didn't know that meth can affect you for days on end). I decided to go to sleep, even though it was 9:00, so that I can wake up the next morning, hopefully feeling sober. An hour passed...and I was still wide awake in my bed, a while later, it hit me that I wasn't sleepy at all – not in the least. This damn drug was keeping me awake. I immediately decided that I'll drown myself in alcohol until I pass out. Alcohol is a depressant so it should work, right? I didn't want to stay awake anymore- I was now feeling extremely miserable and angry. I began to think that this drug just amplifies your current moods, all the while, keeping you awake so you can't escape its misery.

I found some beer bottles hidden in the kitchen and I took them to my bed and began to down them all, one by one. One bottle...nothing...still wide awake. Two bottles...nothing...three...four...five...still nothing but a slight buzz. I was mad. Excited and anxious - but mad. Meth is a hell of a drug.

Then Sandy called. She told me that she had just gotten home and asked me if I saw her bag of meth. So many things were wrong with what she had just said. I thought she was running away from home – how is she back at her house? It was also bizarre that she casually mentioned the meth as if I knew about it all along. Paranoia was consuming my brain. I lied and told her I haven’t seen her drugs. She responded with a disappointed groan, and I could faintly hear Will’s voice in the background talking. Will was at her house…

"Is there anyone else at the house?" I asked. I found that I was having difficulty talking. My drunkenness was catching up to me.

"No, just Will." she said innocently.

I continued to down more alcohol. My words were starting to slur now.

"Sandy...Sanny...I..." The booze continued to take it’s toll.

"What's wrong? Richard? Are you drunk?" Sandy actually sounded concerned. This puzzled me.

"Sandy...this isn't going to work. I don't…wanna…be…with you. And I don't like you. Now you can go fuck Will without having to cheat on your boyfriend." My breakup speech started slow, but became more aggressive as I finished.

"WHAT?!" I could hear her sobbing already. To tell the truth, I think she started crying halfway through my sentence.

"Richard, please don't. I don't even like Will like that; he's just a friend!" I was feeling extremely violent now...crystal meth and alcohol don't go together well. Then a sharp pain shot through my stomach and into my chest and I was floored in a heartbeat. I could hear Sandy crying over the phone as I dropped it. Everything got blurry but my hearing got louder. It was a crazy sensation. The pain in my chest was gone now but it was such a strong pain that it left me feeling bruised. My nose started bleeding and my eyes were tearing up. To top everything off, I was still feeling angry and violent; my emotions stayed intact. Sandy's crying and screaming over the phone that was now many feet away from me stopped and I assumed she gave up and hung up. Finally, I passed out.

I woke up to the phone ringing about an hour later with searing pains all over my body. I answered and it was Tawny’s boyfriend, Jose on the other end.

"Dude, come over to Sandy's place quick. I don’t know what you told her but she’s all suicidal. I can't find her, she said she's gonna drown herself in the pool but she disappeared."

I didn't even bother replying to him- I just got up and left the house.

I tried to run but my body was too soar and in too much pain. My nose was still bleeding too and the stinging cold night air wasn't helping. I finally got to Sandy's apartment building and ran past her door and into the back where the pool was. Then I heard a very loud and scratchy scream followed by a splash of water just as I got into the pool area.